OMG...2 DAYS TO GO!!!!!!!

Okay, so we are only 2 days away from the day that will decide our fate for the next few months (or year if we are lucky). I would like to say that I have been handling the anxiousness and stress with grace, but I am definitely losing my mind. UGH! I am scared and excited and scared. What if there is nothing and we have to wait again and do TESE in 3 months? What if they find only 2 sperm? What if they find a lot and here we go into the world of IVF? I am soooo all over the board. I am afraid of how I will react if it is not good. I think DH has that same fear. I am trying to stay as positive as possible. And of course, DH like most men is trying to be the realist and that is killing me. Just think positive damn you!! Imagine what you want and it will be..isn't that the theme of the book "The Secret"? I mean c'mon its not weird that I look in one of our spare rooms that we have decided will be the nursery one day and imagine where the crib will be and the rocking chair, right? LOL I just want this to be it. I don't want to continue wondering about all of the what ifs. I just want there to be viable sperm so we can get going and be parents by next year. I want to be able to say, "Shew..that was one hell of a roller coaster for the last few months and now we can move forward...Thank You GOD!"

My Mom will be coming with us to the hospital on Wednesday which I am very Thankful for. She is just as nervous as I am I think, and she really wanted to be there. I am glad to have someone sit with me while I wait. Even though we will both be feeling the stress at least we will have each other. :0) I am very lucky to have my Mom. She is truly my best friend. Yes, there are times that we don't get along but overall I would be LOST without her. I don't think that I really have ever told her that, I should; I WILL. Trust me, I feel the same about my Daddy too. But, its just different. My Mom and I have a special bond. I talk to her every single day at least once a day. I look forward to having that same relationship one day with my little girl/boy. With some continued positiveness we might have the good news in just 2 days. Oh god, I don't know if I am going to make it. I keep trying to tell myself that the result has already been written in the stars. I have no control over it. I think that is what is driving both DH and I nuts. It will be what it will be and we will have to deal with whatever comes. That sucks!! That is probably the worst part of this...the lack of control. I promise to post as things occur and I Thank all of you for your warm wishes and prayers.

Its Official Feb 4 is the new D-Day!

So, as per my previous post, it is now official. My DH is going for the MESA on Feb 4th. We are both very excited. Can't wait to hear the results. Now it's just a matter of figuring out finances. We were both very much aware that this entire adventure was going to cost a fortune, but I don't think my DH was really prepared. He almost had a coronary when we got the Insurance info sorted and figured out what would be out of pocket. And, that's just for him and this procedure not the possible IVF with ICSI. It's okay though, it just means that we won't be able to put the pool in this year :0) Or the next :0)

Looking like Feb 4Th is the new D-Day...

Okay, so we have DH's MESA scheduled for tentatively Feb 4. That is of course assuming that the person from the RE's office is available that day. I am really excited. Please let this be it. You know? I feel like saying please just give us a little bit. Kinda funny but I went to a psychic/medium yesterday. I know, we should be saving $ and I go and spend $50 on some lady but I'll tell you it was awesome. She said that she saw me and DH having a baby the non-conventional way and that she saw surgery occurring within the next 3 weeks. I know weird right?She also told me that it would "stick the first time" and asked me if I knew what that meant? Too funny. I know that some believe its malarkey and sometimes I do too. But, hell I'll take any type of positiveness in my life I can get. Oh and did I mention she saw two girls! My DH will love that if it comes true. Don't get me wrong he will be thrilled no matter what it is as long as its his, but he really really wants a boy. He really doesn't want to deal with the dating issue with girls. But, oh well, if its meant to be that's it. :0)

Meeting with the Urologist

Okay, so yesterday we met with the wonderful doc who will be performing DH's necessary procedure. It turns out though that he does not agree with starting with TESE and says that he is 85% positive we will find the little swimmers by just doing MESA. YEAH!!!!!!!! Here we go again we are treading up the roller coaster. Click. Click. Click. We are waiting to hear from his office today to schedule the procedure. It looks like it will be done either the last week in January or first week in February. Maybe we will home together for a few days around the Superbowl that would be sweet! :0) Anyways we are both feeling really good about all of this. I just have to keep praying and crossing my fingers and toes. What if any were anyone's experience with MESA? Did it prove successful? Was it a waste of time?