So, let's see...I had wanted to post everyday during ICLW week, but as you can see fell a day behind. Yesterday was just a complete lazy day. My DH had stayed home with me and we laid around all day watching movies and tv. We watched Twilight, which I thought was pretty good. I don't think the character that plays Edward is gorgeous so that was kind of a let down. Today, DH went back to work and because my Mom was off today she came and spent the day with me. It was really nice. She brought my Great Aunt over for a visit who is in her mid 80's and we got to spend time together which rarely happens in this rat race of a life I lead. I am finding myself to be much more tired today than over the past few days. I think I am finally relaxing and my body is seeking sleep. I only got up once during the night last night and actually managed to nap for about an hour late this morning. I am hoping to sleep completely through tonight..fingers crossed!
Totally random, but I need to share with regards to IVF. Something I have not shared but my brother had gotten a divorce back in 2004? or there abouts. Anyways, he had 3 kids from that marriage. His ex-wife remarried in 2006, who I still speak to as she is my niece and nephews Mom. Okay, so the situation is a little weird because my brother passed away in Sept of 2007 and I have grown closer to my ex-sis-in-law and her husband (who is an awesome step-dad btw). Okay, so get to the point Melissa, well on Sunday when I mentioned in my post that my sis-in-law came for dinner it was that family. DH and I had not told them anything about our situation but figured now that my surgery was done and successful that we would share our plans for the upcoming IVF. So, where am I going with this? My ex sis-in-law told us and the kids on Sunday at my house that they are doing IVF too...and starting as soon as possible!!!! She had had her tubes tied after my niece was born (my niece is now 13) and the docs say that IVF is the best chance of them getting pregnant as my ex sis-in-law is 42 going on 43. I am excited to have someone close to me to being doing this at practically the same time, but a selfish part of me wants to scream out, "It's my turn!" "You did this already!" Now she has called me everyday to talk (very out of the ordinary) and I don't really know what to make of all of this, not to mention that I am not happy how they told the kids...in front of us? not alone? What were they thinking?? They are not fans of their step dad to begin with (they miss my brother) and have apparently not said anything about the news. Any thoughts from my blogging friends?
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17 comments:
I'm glad your recovery is going well and family is taking good care of you. I also find it hard to relax and be lazy, but when I'm forced to it is nice!
That is quite a complicated situation you've got going on. Hmm. I would also be taken aback at discussing the news in front of the kids, but clearly (hopefully?) they've already been filled in and know all about it. I think your feelings are totally natural, and I would feel the same way. If she gets too "buddy-buddy" about things, maybe you can pull back just a little bit? Hopefully you will both have great success with the IVF, but just do whatever you need to do to feel most comfortable.
Isn't it crazy how complicated all of this can get?
(((hugs)))
CONGRATS on the smoke free portion of your post. As an ex-smoker, I know how hard it can be. Keep it up girl! Glad you had a lazy day- we all need them once in a while!
About your sis-n-law....that is really a sticky situation. I can totally understand your frustration. Having other IF friends is great,but sometimes I think in person is a little too "in your face", and that is why we all do so well on the internet. We can choose who we talk to, when and how much. That is our buffer.
If she gets to close/infringing- just back up. Give vague info if you don't want to talk about it. Hopefully she will get it...if not, talk to her ifyou think she is the kind of person that can handle that.
Good luck- that would be a hard situation.
At last on the part of her children, I think it makes sense since they are teenagers. I doubt they'd be able to hide an IVF cycle from the kids and of course if it works out...
I totally understand the jealousy feeling. My SIL has five kids and with the last pregnancy it was all I could do to not have my head explode.
your sil situation is complicated. i have a friend like her, and i've really learned that she's not one i can count on right now. i've had to pick and choose what i tell her.
iclw
first of all congrats again on the smoke free thing, looks like you're doing really well with it!
it's a tricky situation with your ex sil, but your feelings are normal. If it was me I'd try keep some distance for my own sanity - and if she gets too buddy-buddy with it you might need to pull back a bit.
I hope your niece and nephews are feeling better about the whole thing, i can't beleive they were told at the same time as you!
You, go, girl (on the not smoking)!
I can see how you'd want some of these discussions to take place in more privacy. And I completely *get* the "it's my turn" thing. My younger sister had 3 before I had any. So hard!
Sweet dreams...may you rest easily.
Oh! And thanks for your nice comment on my blog last night!
So glad that your surgery and recovery are going well!!
As for your exSIL, she's probably scared and excited about this whole thing and is reaching out to the only person she may know going through this. I do understand how you feel though. When my husband's cousin and his wife got pregnant before we did, I was seriously upset.
ICLW!!
Well done on being smoke free. I really miss smoking! Wishing you a speedy recovery! ~IC:W
I am glad you are feeling better! I had both tubes out in January, and the recovery was not too bad.
kudos to the no smoking! That must be so hard.
As for your ex-SIL, that would be a tough one. Nice to have a cycle buddy that you know IRL, but hard because she is already a mom and it is a different situation. Hang in there.
Hugs,
Carrie
Thanks for stopping by my blog! :)
Hmmmmmm. Not sure I get why they told the kids at all, but hey - different strokes...
As far as your feelings on the matter. You are entitled to feel whatever you want. You can't control your feelings, that's for sure. I sometimes think that if a lot of people are getting pregnant around me, then I won't. It's like I'm worried there is only a certain amount of pregnancies allotted for each cycle. But that's bullshit. So her undergoing IVF has no relation to your chances of conception. She'll just be an IRL person who will understand your crazy, medicated outbursts! :)
It sounds like it's a difficult (and awkward) situation all around, but I think it's nice that she is reaching out to you.
Hope you're feeling better soon!
ICLW
Congrats on being smoke free! I'm glad your recovery is going well and you are finally relaxing a bit. :)
As for your ex SIL, I really don't know what to say. It's weird that they told the kids in front of you.
Thank you for commenting on my blog. PID hurts and it really makes me mad that it's automatically related to an STD. When I made an appointment for an exam after I was done with the anti-biotics, the nurse asked me if I had my "partner tested". I kindly told her he didn't have a uterus, so there was no need to test him. She didn't know what to say.
As far as your SIL goes, maybe she just wants to have you as support to go through this? I understand your feelings, as well. Saying in front of the kids wasn't very sympathetic. Maybe she was thinking they'd be excited to have a little brother or sister? I'm grasping at straws here, sorry. Glad your recovery is going well. Hope your fully recovered soon!
*ICLW*
I think your mixed feelings are completely valid. I bet I would feel the same way. It sounds like a pretty tricky situation.
Wishing you much luck with the IVF :)
ICLW
Glad you are recovering nicely. Sleep is a wonderful thing. :-)
The situation with you sil could get tricky, but if you are comfortable with it, it might be nice to have someone to talk things out with in real life. Good luck.
Oops. I forgot to tell you I'm from ICLW. :-)
Glad to hear you are feeling better. I watched Twilight in the theaters and was a bit disappointed -- the book was SOOOOO much better. And I agree, the actor they chose for Edward is not really my cup of tea. My imaginary one was MUCH better looking!
Onto "real life." The situation with your SIL is complicated, and I think it's great that you are still involved with your nieces and nephews. I totally get the feelings of "my turn!" and think that they are valid. Sometimes IRL friends can help us get through this stuff, but I've found that, as another commenter mentioned, sometimes the buffer of the Internet helps, too.
Whatever you need, do what's right for you. If she gets too pushy, it's okay to pull back.
Hugs,
Jo
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