Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I Have Officially Lost It....

So, I don't know if its a week's worth of Lupron or my monthly visitor, but I have officially gone crazy. Yesterday at work I yelled at almost everyone. Luckily, most people at work know what's going on and just kinda dealt with it. I lost it big time on the phone with a pharmacy. My dad lost his job a few weeks ago and suffers from really bad asthma, and I believe has the start of emphysema. I am trying to find him the medicine that he needs at a cheap price and basically got screwed by this website. I ripped the supervisor a new one yesterday and everyone in my office just sat there with their jaws dropped as I am not normally so aggressive. Then I walked outside my office and just screamed and cried for about 10 minutes. Then, felt better.

I thought I was going to be okay and that it was just frustration over the jerk at the pharmacy, but when I got home I still was feeling cranky. I asked DH to bring home something for dinner as I did not feel like cooking. We couldn't make a decision and wound up screaming at each other on the phone over stupid dinner. We finally agreed on Burger King (I know...Super Healthy) and I asked him for a milkshake with my meal. All was fine at that point. DH gets home, I am starving as I really haven't eaten all day, and the burger he got me had some sort of crap on it. ( Side Note: I am extremely picky. I need everything to be PLAIN. I like a PLAIN cheeseburger, nothing but cheese and I always ask who ever picks it up to check..and DH knows to do this.) However, this time he failed to check it and I went ballistic. I refused to eat it and then just sat there crying for like half an hour. I couldn't stop. DH kept trying to console me and I couldn't make the tears stop. Finally, after I don't know how long, I felt better. I wound up having cereal for dinner and then kept laughing at how silly the whole incident had been. I called my Mom to say goodnight and then wound up crying to her all over again about how crazy this is. She was hysterical laughing, which in turn made me laugh, and I was good all over again. Holy Cow!!! This is insane!!!! But, totally worth it. That's all I keep repeating to myself.

1 comment:

Erica said...

It's the Lupron. I promise! It's an evil drug. A totally necessary evil for IVF, but evil nonetheless. When you feel like screaming, scream. When you feel like crying, cry. It's okay. You'll make it. I think the hardest part of an IVF cycle is keeping your sanity while on that drug. Once you start your stims, you'll feel like a normal woman again. That I promise too.

Hang in there!